Master Cleanse Journey Day 1

I’m on a cleanse and I’m happy to shout it out.  I have been eating like a slob for the past few years, and though I try to get in exercise, my eating and drinking habits are atrocious.  For starters, I have gained so much weight in the past few years that it’s plain unhealthy.  After a serious soccer injury, I swapped my active lifestyle for couch lounging.  In between then and now, I drank my fair share of cocktails and ate myself silly.  I’m not talking binge eating, just eating whatever I wanted, anytime I wanted.  Well I’m unhappy to report I’ve gained so much weight, I don’t recognize myself in the mirror.

With that weight gain came some health issues, which included the development of new food allergies.  Allergies to avocado, nuts, chickpeas, sesame seeds and kiwi.  That’s right, I had to say goodbye to guacamole, peanut butter, almond anything, humus and all the fun healthy foods.  I know what you’re thinking, I’m missing out.  You have no idea.  I loved avocado toast as a kid (yes avocado toast isn’t a new thing).  Something clicked this summer, prompting me to get my life together and get healthy.  So I decided to go on the Master Cleanse.

Master Cleanse Day 1
Master Cleanse Recipe: 2T freshly squeezed lemons, 2T Grade B Maple Syrup, A Dash of Cayenne Pepper, 10 oz. filtered water

I decided to start my Master Cleanse to purge my system of toxins that have been building up in my system for three decades and start a healthier lifestyle after that.  With that in mind, I read Stanley Burroughs’ book, The Master Cleanse, to get the lowdown on what makes this cleanse so powerful.  After reading through the 30-page book several times as well and other literature by Peter Glickman, I decided this was something I could do to get healthy.

The Master Cleanse, which originated in the 70s, is a liquid-only detox program consisting of three things: a lemonade-like beverage, salt-water drink, and herbal laxative tea. The claim is simple: Give it 10 days (or more) and you’ll drop pounds, “detox” your digestive system, and feel energetic, vital, happy, and healthy. Easy enough no? So I am going to chronicle my journey here. I would love encouragement, tips and tricks on how you’ve been able to keep on your cleansing journey.

So here is the gist of the Master Cleanse:
Ease-In four days prior to the cleanse

  • Day 1 – Regular Diet; however, you should try to eat live foods –vegetables, grains, etc.
  • Day 2 – Fruits and Veggies
  • Day 3 – Fruit and Veggie Juice – or Broth
  • Day 4 – Orange Juice – 3 1-liter orange juice (with 2 tablespoons of maple syrup if you want more calories and energy)
  • Day 5 is the Day 1 of The Master Cleanse

The cleanse actually is supposed to go much better if you do the ease in period.  I didn’t do that. I just plunged right in after my maple syrup arrived from Amazon.  On the evening of Day 4, end the night with an herbal laxative tea to start loosening up the gunk in your gut. On the first day of the cleanse, start the morning with the Salt Water Flush (2 teaspoons of non-iodized, unrefined sea salt in a quart of filtered water) on an empty stomach.  Wait 2 hours to allow the salt solution to run through your system and flush you out (more to come in later posts). Stay close to the loo because you will be going about four times. Then continue with the lemonade concoction.

8:30am: Salt Water Flush
Drank my warm salt water flush and laid on my right side on the couch for about 45 minutes. I then ran to the bathroom three times for bowel movements that were runny, super soft. There was no cramping or nausea.

10:30am: Drink #1 (hot)
I miss coffee. I need my caffeine jolt each morning. Since I can’t have any caffeine, I decided to drink my first lemonade mixture hot to trick my brain into thinking I am drinking my morning cup of joe. I think 2 tablespoons of the maple syrup is too sweet for me. I am going to modify and use 1 tablespoon for the best one to see if I like the taste better. Feeling thirsty and tired. Lethargic. Drinking a quart of cold water. I wonder if I can have lemons in my cold water throughout the day. Can anyone help?

12:30pm: Drink #2

2:30pm: Drink #3
Was a tad hungry, especially because my boyfriend was having cilantro rice and beans with a fried egg that smelled incredible.

4:30pm: Drink #4
Currently trying to be really good. I am drinking half a lemon with 1.5 tablespoons of maple syrup. I don’t think I can stomach 2 tablespoons.

6:30pm: Drink #5
I was so freaking tired that I had to take a quick nap. My nap lasted about 25 minutes but it was so worth it. My boyfriend was trying to help but after a few minutes of him indulging with a Manhattan cocktail, I had to just shut my brain off for a few minutes to avoid temptation. Alcohol is one of my vices and I love a glass or two of a stiff drink after work.

8:30pm: Drink #6
Yaaay!

9:15pm: Smooth Moves Tea!
Day one is almost over and it’s now mind over matter. I am having cravings and I want to just break this fast by telling myself, “I can start tomorrow if I can just eat that cold lentil salad with shrimp leftovers I made.” But then the boy was like, “No MAK! You made it past Day 1. Just try to fall asleep then start Day 2 tomorrow. I’m so proud of you.” I swear he’s my biggest cheerleader.

A bit later my brain was on high alert craving creamy Camembert, blue cheese, Iberico Jamon and a toasted baguette. I was pretty much craving that Charcuterie board we made last Friday. This cleanse fucks with your mind for real. It makes you realize how cravings affect my eating habits and the types of things I crave so I can correct it during and post cleanse.

2:50am: Bathroom Break
Oof! Woke up late in the night feeling like I had to go to the bathroom. I am guessing that Smooth Moves tea was hard at work. I sad on the toilette for a few minutes but nada!