Labor Day Deception: Seth Meyers Gets Married

September 1, 2013

Labor Day weekend is traditionally the last carefree weekend of the summer. The last chance to finally have that summer fling. The last weekend to leave all reason behind and believe that the great romance of the summer is still just around the corner. But thanks to Seth Meyers and his baffling rush to the altar many single women in New York are experiencing one of the five stages of grief.


I think I can speak for most of us that we all went through denial together when news of his engagement broke earlier this summer. “No, it can’t be true, how can he get engaged when we haven’t even met?” The Media got it all wrong. I mean he’s the greatest, funniest, most amazing guy ever, so obviously he’s playing an incredibly hysterical prank on everyone, right?!!

Then comes the stage I’m least proud of anger! “Who is this skank?” An attorney, a normal girl, down to earth…excuse me? They don’t make them more normal, down to earth, caring, loving, funny and sweet than yours truly!!!! So clearly this girl has obviously cast some evil spell on Seth because there is no other logical explanation as to why he stopped waiting for me.

After several bottles of wine and long incoherent discussions with my girlfriends came bargaining. Frankly, I’m too embarrassed to even share the types of negotiations I entered into with the higher powers. Let’s just say that carbs and sugars were an unfortunate casualty during this phase.

Seth+Meyers+Alexi+Ashe+2011+ESPY+Awards+iU5PS4kd7J9lI’m not entirely sure the depression ever set in until I got the text from my girlfriend that Seth Meyers had indeed gotten married on Sunday, September 1. That’s when it hit me no more bargaining! It’s over! Not only had he gotten married but they had my perfect wedding. A Small intimate wedding in Martha’s Vineyard with 150 of their closest friends and family. Not too, big not too small, just perfect! The depression hit hard…and I’d like to take a minute to thank all the really fine grapes who had to die to get me through to the last and final phase of my grief.

And so, here I am at acceptance. I have to accept that Alexi Ashe not only got Seth Myers to propose but promptly walked his cute little bottom down the aisle in less than two months! You go girl! She planned and pulled off a wedding fit for comedy royalty in one month. The wedding was attended by famous pals Olivia Wilde, Allison Williams, Rose Byrne, Jack McBrayer, Jimmy Fallon, Bobby Cannavale, Mike Shoemaker, and Jake Gyllenhall. Plenty of former Saturday Night Live co-stars were on hand as well, like Jason Sudeikis, Kristen Wiig, Kenan Thompson, and Will Forte. Get your life, honey!!!

While the rest of the country prepared for the last hurrah of the summer, she walked down the aisle wearing a cap sleeved lace dress towards America’s favorite soon-to-be late night host dressed in a dark suit. The truth is I can’t even be mad at her…that’s the beauty of acceptance–Once you get there you realize she did exactly what you would’ve done. She got the guy we all wanted and she wasn’t going to wait! Not for you to lose that last 10 pounds, or for you to finally get those SNL tickets and hit the after party in style, or for any of you to stalk him in the streets of New York City!

It’s as if she took my playbook, read it and audibled every single play magnificently and effortlessly! And so I raise my bottle of Pinot Noir to the happy couple. Mazel Tov Seth and Alexi…and in the words of Amy Poehler, “Really?!!”

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